This activity is meant to help you see the rules that shape the different environments you live in, identify rules you want to change, and develop an approach for trying to change them.
Some rules are written into law and policy. Others are conveyed through culture — and those usually matter more, because they decide whether anyone takes the written rules seriously. When the two point in opposite directions, the unwritten rule tends to win. That's why change so often fails to land: we win the policy without touching the culture that makes it real. You can't change a rule you can't see.
Think about a social environment you know really well—a "world" you spend time in often. It could be your work world. Or the world of a place you frequent, such as the supermarket, the gym, or the club. Or the world of a religious community or a hobby group you're involved in. It could be the world of your family—or even your own home.
Pick just one world to start.
What are the rules of that world? What are the rules that truly govern the behavior of the people who spend time in that world, including yourself? Some are likely written down or stated regularly. Others probably exist as unwritten rules that somehow everyone knows—or is supposed to know—even if they are never formally stated.
At the gym, it could be anything from a policy against taking pictures in the locker room (a written rule of safety) to how loud people can be when they're talking on the phone while working out on a machine (an unwritten rule of etiquette).
Of course, rules are not functional unless there is some kind of reward for playing by them and/or some kind of consequence for violating them. That's what makes them real. Think about the rewards and consequences you see play out in that world.
Write out some of the written and unwritten rules of that world.
Then write out the rewards and consequences for each of those rules.
Now choose one of those rules that you don't like—a rule you want to change. You might choose a high-stakes rule that would take a great deal of time and effort to change. But it's okay to start with something simple, like a rule making everyone do "Taco Tuesdays" at work every week even though not everyone wants it.
Write down the rule.
Then write down the different ways that rule is communicated to people, both formally and informally. Write down the different ways it's enforced (rewards and consequences), to whom it applies, and what makes it wrong in your eyes. Write down how you would go about changing this rule.
Put what you've written aside for the moment. Come back to it after you have read through this book (or at least Parts I and II) and revisit your instincts about how you might go about changing this rule. See if there's anything you would alter in your approach.
Then answer the following questions: